I Am A False Teacher
Want to Be One Too?

If you plant a tomato seed, would you grow a apple tree? No. But I want to show you how to plant a Bible and grow a church, not a bible church, but a church with many divisions, sects, false religion, and false teachings.  No church started off with the idea of not wanting to be the saved. They went there over time. Apathy, disregard for evangelism, doing the same old things that result in the same old nothing, lack of Bible knowledge and a general belief that man's way is better than God's way gave the false teacher the soil to plant their teachings and grow the unscriptural churches. Their ways are simple. Let me teach you how to be one too.

They teach "Give at the Office."

Matthew 25:35 for* I was hungry and you* gave me food to eat; I was thirsty and you* gave me a drink; I was a stranger and you* brought me in; 36 naked and you* dressed me; I was sick and you* visited me; I was in prison and you* came to me.

False teacher want-to-be we have to make sure they do not give one single penny to anyone or anything outside of that pot that gets passed around Sunday morning. Remember

False Teacher want-to-be we are going to be The Someone, we are going to be praised by Christians, we are going to have control over the money and direct it all to us or our false projects.

NEVER, for sure, under any circumstances, let anyone give $10 a year to the Christian Library Online!!  False Teacher want-to-be, we never want to preach the truth only what makes us Great in the eyes of the church and of course, rich.

They play on the unlearned, the unskilled and the weak. 

Acts 20:30 "and from among yourselves [the Overseers or Elders], men will arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after them. "

2 Timothy 3:6 "... out of these [false teachers] are those who sneak into houses and bring immature women piled up with sins into captivity, led away by various lusts, 3:7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. "

To be a good false teacher you have to be in a place where people don't have the attitude of "what does the bible say..." or have little knowledge of even the basic first principles of Jesus' kingdom.

They teach "the bible doesn't say not too." 
 Don't add to or take away from his word or commandments. Revelation 22:18 "I testify with everyone who hears with understanding the words of the prophesy of this book, if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the wounds which are written in this book: 22:19 and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophesy, God will take away his part from the tree of life and out of the holy city, which are written in this book."

The communion would be so much better with jelly don't you think? Adding the denominational headquarters is little in comparison, or the fellowship building.

They generalize commands that are specific.
Sing is very specific. Adding in musical instruments and a choir is not in the word "sing." False teacher want-to-be always use "it is expedient" "it is better than..." God's word might allow a song book to complete "all things in order" and to fulfill the command to "sing." But you have to remember to teach that all "gray areas" are safe. Then once they have accepted gray as okay; peach is not hard at all to swallow, maybe a purple fellowship hall? Rock band... Yea!

They teach "it's a good work."

Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he who practices the will of my Father who is in heaven. 7:22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name cast out demons and in your name do many miracles? 7:23 And then I will confess to them, I never knew you: withdraw from me, you who work lawlessness. "

Now, of course, heaven is not your goal, praise from men, exaltation and profit is! 

They teach "that's just your opinion."

John 14:15 "If you love me [Jesus], you will keep my commandments. "

Love is overrated. The church is supposed to be known by it, we can see that's not true. Love Jesus, why?  "Everyone who believes in Jesus will go to heaven." Remember this false teacher want-to-be.

They teach "it's what's in your heart that counts."

In the New Testament, the word "obey" or "obedience" is in there over 80 times. To be a good false teacher concentrate on the word "believe" or "feel". (Because in English as opposed to the Bible "believe" believe does not mean in any way mean "obey." "Feel" in not in the Bible in reference to God or the church anywhere.) Stay away from "know" or "knowledge" which are used over 1500 times. "You feel saved." NEVER NEVER "You know you are saved. Mark 16:16" 

They quote men not God.

A good false teacher always promotes some man, after all, don't you want to be promoted? One of the best lines is to say "My teacher at the ... School of Preaching or at ... College use to say..."  Excellent! You gave credit to your false teaching, kept opponents from the Bible and taught them authority in Man all in one sentence. Do a good job and they might quote you more in Lectureship books and at seminars than Jesus Christ, too. Remember to always strut around like a rooster when you are with your fellow false teachers.
They take scriptures out of context.
We can all be saved with Romans 10:9 "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved:"  & Acts 16:30 "...what must I do to be saved? 16:31 And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, you and your house. "

As a good false teacher NEVER let them read the verses around the scriptures that you quote. NEVER encourage them to take notes. NEVER have them read the New Testament. The last thing you want them to do is read Romans 10:10 "for with the heart man believes to righteousness, and with the mouth confesses toward salvation" or Acts 16:33 "And he, having taken them in that same hour of the night, bathed their stripes, and was immersed instantly, he and all his household." (That is repentance and baptism! Absolute NO NO's false teacher want-to-be.)

They do not want to discuss the subject at hand, but lead you elsewhere. 
Always learn to avoid confrontation. Remember the best way to destroy a correct view is to attack the person. No one is sinless, you understand that well false teacher want-to-be. "Do you still have that problem with lying, brother?" "I saw how you looked at ..." "You have a connection to the Internet!" (After all anyone who has watched TV knows it is far worst than the Internet!) Whenever possible take pieces of their lives out of context like you would scriptures. "You used to spend a lot of time over at widow .... house." (It takes time to mow the grass.) Remember this is your number one defense against opponents, use it well, my false-teacher want-to-be.
They take scriptures written to individuals and quote them as binding on the church.
James 1:27 "Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to visit the orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world."

But as a good false teacher you can quote this as grounds to support that orphanage, remove personal responsibility. Remember to read in extra words like "visit" means "help" then "help" would be "money."  You lead them like sheep to the slaughter false teacher want-to-be.

They take scriptures written to Christians and apply them to the unsaved.

1 John 1:6-9
They misdirect scriptures.
2 Timothy 2:2 "And the things which you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also." 

Paul telling Timothy to teach others, who then would teach others in the same way. But you, a false teacher want-to-be, can twist this to be grounds for Schools of Preaching or a Missionary Society, put yourself there and make $40,000 a year for a cake job, build yourself a nice office, travel around the country asking for more money, talking about all those great things you all have done (actually for yourself and friends). Others are to teach others also, isn't that what Paul said? 

They pick and choose commandments from the Old Testament.

You have to give 10% of everything you make to the church. After all we need the money to build our new $5,000,000 building complete with swimming pool and tennis courts. Let's not forget our new theater, too. After all false teacher want-to-be, if we entertain them, they come back more often, give more money and best of all they stay away from the Bible!

They teach people to use non-literal translations of the Bible.

With non-literal translations like the NIV, New Living, New Revised Standard versions you can get people to not put much faith in the Word of God. In these translations they have contradictions and just take away the harshness and exactness of God's commandments and eternal punishment. As you get them further from the Bible the closer you get them to you, false teacher want-to-be.
They claim the Bible was written for a time. The Bible needs to grow as mankind grows. 
Jude 3 "I had a necessity to write to you, encouraging you to contend for the faith which was delivered once for all to the saints." 

Women are good allies, after all the Bible doesn't allow them to teach, pray or have the oversight of a man. Since they have no power, give them some, but only a little or they will run right over you like the men's business meeting.

They don't apply all the scriptures on a subject, but use "their favorites."
2 Peter 3:15 "...always be ready to make a defense to everyone who is asking you a reason concerning the hope which is in you, yet with meekness and fear:" 

As a good false teacher remember to quote only a few good scriptures to support your false view. If you quote too many scriptures they might follow you in ways you don't want.

They take symbolic or figurative language or examples and make them literal.

Revelation 20:4 And I saw thrones and they sat upon them and judgment was given to them and I saw the lives of those who had been beheaded because of the testimony of Jesus and because of the word of God and those who did not worship the beast, nor his image and did not receive the mark upon their forehead and upon their hand, and they lived and reigned with Christ the thousand years. 20:5 The rest of the dead did not live until the thousand years might be finished. This is the first resurrection. 

Don't worry, we have a thousand years for a second chance so indulge, get lazy, don't talk about Jesus to your friends. Great idea false teacher want-to-be, right?

They reject authority and authority of the scriptures.

Teach a brotherhood or denomination of Christians and a universal church. Give authority to everyone but the Eldership. Write creed books or set policies for your little denomination in Christian magazines, brand everyone who disagrees with your creed. NEVER tell them to do Bible things in Bible ways. We want great things for you False teacher want-to-be, destroy the automony of the church and you can then be a BIG FISH in the BIG SEA! 

They are in the Grandfather Clause because of something great years ago.

False teacher want-to-be to secure your job in the church forever, do something great once (speak on TV, address some major false teaching (even if you agree with it) at a big respected Lectureship or College). Once you have this under your belt, no one will ever accuse you of error, because after all you "made a stand against... in 1981." People change, but church greats can be hypocrites forever!

They put themselves in places to be seen by men. 

Lectureships, Colleges, Missionary Societies or Preaching Schools, regional offices, Christian Only Magazines. Keep up with the Pharisees of the church, help them out, ask them for permission whenever possible, remove any autonomy your congregation has by being involved with the big boys and other congregations and by allowing them to pick your preachers, who you support, who you fellowship, how you worship God. One day they will exalt you to "Godhood Status" too, false teacher want-to-be.

They talk about the "ills of the church" while promoting their false ways.

Everything is not worship and brother ... is wrong. But you all remember we need to raise more money for our 1.1 million dollar library to help our students [20-30 at most]; We need that money to build our $510,000 fellowship hall for the 15 students and make them poor little churches pay for it.

As a good false teacher always find something to get them mad about, while sneaking in what you really want. A mob will do about anything. They killed Jesus, didn't they?

They give Christians a way out of personal responsibilities:
Build a grade school, a high school and college (with your name on it of course). These will relieve the parents from teaching their children the right ways of God or even to be a good example. 

Build a school of preaching to relieve the individual of the "teaching others also." 

Build a church relief organization to take care of benevolence for them. It might actually hurt them to give money above the church's weekly allowance to some scriptural work. But they have no problems with unscriptural ones.

Build a fellowship hall so they won't feel so bad that they did not open thier bibles once during the week or associate with any other Christians the whole week. It's hard to love someone if you don't know them. 

Build  a missionary society so they don't have to "preach the word when convient or not convient." 

Build an old folks home and an orphanage so they can stay home and watch TV, instead of helping the weak.

Build great beautiful buildings and spent all the Lord's money that should have gone to evangelism. You have to conquer them first before you make converts (that is, clones of them).

These are great false teachings for you to pursue. I have such great hope, you too will help pave the road to hell with their good intensions, false teacher want-to-be.

They say, "It's only money."
2 John 8 "Look to yourselves, that you do not destroy the things which we have worked in you, but that we may receive a full reward. 9 Everyone who transgresses and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God: he who abides in the teaching, this one has both the Father and the Son. 10 If anyone comes to you* and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your* house and give him no greeting: 11 for* he who gives him greeting is sharing in his evil works. "

We are not even suppose to say hello to a false teacher, but money isn't in those passages, is it? Giving money isn't fellowship. Get the general idea false teacher want-to-be? 

Once you get them to this point, start a fund for "I am a False Teacher Inc." and let all those good erring Christians support you. (After all, Christians have no problem spending the Lord's money on organizations, even some "Christian" ones, but would never give you a dime directly to do evangelism work. I've seen this first hand.)

Are you one of these false teachers? Do you want to be praised by men? Want the glamorous life?
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Copyright by Butch Walker 2012. May be freely copied for non-profit uses. Content may not be changed. All Bible quotes are from the Modern Literal Version New Testament (MLV) unless otherwise stated.

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