I Want to Evangelize the World

I want to spread the Gospel to the whole world and I can do it in 30 years. Would you help me? Would you give me a chance?

I have a few things to discuss with you about myself to show you that I am the man for the job. First I am 30 years old and have been saved since birth. The first time I ever did anything during worship service was a few months ago; I read scripture. I have worked all my life as a "blue collar" worker in my father's business and trade. I have no degree in theology and never attended a preaching school or Christian college. In fact I don't have a high school education. My closest friends consist of an ex prostitute, two other unmarried women, a brother of one of them, a religious fanatic, a thief who was a son of a thief, a heathen who worked for the government, four who smell like they never had a bath and a few even less significant then them. Most of my friends and I come from a little town. No one ever said anything good about this town or its people. Most people don't know it but my father protected me from the authorities when I was young. They would have executed me if it wasn't for him.  The religious leaders and all those "who are someone" in the religious realm hate me. My cousin, the only one of my family who any of the leaders ever knew, they hated too. If they had their way they would kill me. I have never been asked to speak on a Lectureship or give a sermon. I don't have any letters of recommendation or references from anyone great. Some people would claim I have special god-like abilities but others claim it is all a lie and trickery. I believe the Bible is the only authority in all religious matters contrary to many of the religious leaders.

You will hire me, won't you?

Oh by the way, I forgot, my name is Jesus of Nazareth, the son of God.

I hope this sarcasm gets the message across to those who require "qualifications" of their evangelist or missionaries or preachers. Matthew 28:19-20 and Mark 16:15-16 is good enough qualifications for an evangelist or missionary or preacher at least as far as God is concerned. (Christian of course required.)

Copyright by Butch Walker 2012. May be freely copied for non-profit uses. Content may not be changed. All Bible quotes are from the Modern Literal Version New Testament (MLV) unless otherwise stated.

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