Bible Topics In The Christian Library
 
PITFALLS IN PARENTING

INTRODUCTION: THERE IS ALWAYS A DANGER IN TELLING PARENTS ABOUT HOW THEY SHOULD RAISE THEIR CHILDREN. MANY WILL TELL A WELL MEANING PERSON VOLUNTEERING ADVISE TO "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS". I CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH THOSE PARENTS WHO SOMETIME BECOME FRUSTRATED WITH "BACK SEAT DRIVERS" WHO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT RAISING CHILDREN AND SOMETIMES NEVER HAD THE PRIVILEGE THEMSELVES.

BUT THE BIBLE TALKS ABOUT SEVERAL PITFALL THAT WE SHOULD AVOID IN PARENTING. THIS IS NOT BEING NOSEY OR A BUSYBODY BUT GOOD ADVISE FROM JEHOVAH GOD. LET'S ALL AS PARENTS TAKE THIS GOOD ADVISE. AS A GOOD PARENT WE SHOULD-
 
 

BODY 

I. AVOID THE PITFALL OF DRUNKENNESS.

A. Look at what happened to Noah.
1. Genesis 9:20-23 "And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard: And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness."
a. Literally when the scriptures say that Ham "saw" the nakedness of his father in meant "gazed upon" it.
2. Look at what happened because of alcohol being introduced into the home of Noah.
a. Noah became naked in the sight of his children.
b. Caused Ham to sin in his father's sight.
B. Alcohol should never be a part of our homes.
1. Proverbs 23:29-35
2. Galatians 5:21 
 
II. AVOID THE MATERIALISM OF LOT.
A. Lot's materialism was the ruin of his family.
1. Genesis 13:7,11- "And there was a strife between the herdmen of Abram's cattle and the herdmen of Lot's cattle: and the Canaanite and the Perizzite dwelled then in the land....And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar. Then Lot chose him all the plain of Jordan; and Lot journeyed east: and they separated themselves the one from the other."
2. What was the result of Lot "pitching his tent" toward Sodom.
a. It cost his judgment.
1. Genesis 19:5-8
b. It cost him his wife.
1. Genesis 19:26- "But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt."
c. It cost him his dignity and that of his children.
1. Genesis 19:31-36
d. In short, it destroyed his family and his personal life.
B. Materialism will destroy our families physically and spiritually.
1. Materialism will cause us to blindly follow after things instead of God.
a. Ecclesiastes 4:8- "There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail."
2. Some parents are more interested in providing their children with all the material comforts of life and totally disregard their spiritual training.
3. One of the greatest lessons we can impart to our children is that our lives are not important based on the amount of things we have.
a. Luke 12:15 "And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth."
4. Good advice from Solomon.
a. Proverbs 23:4,5- "Labour not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom. Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven."
 
III. AVOID THE PARTIALITY OF JACOB
A. Jacob's partiality toward Joseph cause strife in his family.
1. Genesis 37:3,4- "Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him."
2. Jacob's partiality had it's roots in his father's partiality toward his brother Esau and his mother's partiality toward him.
a. Genesis 25:28- "And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob."
B. Partiality often will drive a wedge in a home that will cause strife and hatred for one another. 
1. It drives a wedge of distrust between children and parents, between siblings.
2. It shows a respect of persons, one that God doesn't have toward his children.
a. Acts 10:34-35
IV. AVOID THE SPOILING OF DAVID.
A. David learned the hard lesson that giving a child everything usually means that they will cherish nothing. 
1. 1 Kings 1:5,6- "Then Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, I will be king: and he prepared him chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him. And his father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why hast thou done so? and he also was a very goodly man; and his mother bare him after Absalom."
2. Some important points to keep in mind concerning these two verses.
a. Adonijah was the son born after the death of Absalom. In all probability David look on Adonijah as a son in place of his beloved Absalom who died in rebellion against him.
b. The phrase "had not displeased him at any time" shows that David had never refused Adonijah, everything that he wanted David gave.
c. Combined with the fact that Adonijah was "a very goodly man" mad him feel that he could not be denied anything, even David's crown.
B. It is a simple fact of life that it is not good for any of us, especially for our children growing up, to get everything we want.
1. How many parents have exclaimed to their children who commit some heinous crime, "Didn't I give you everything?" Often they were given everything except what they need, No. 
2. Charles Manson's mother- "I never denied him anything that he wanted."
V. AVOID THE TOLERATION OF SIN OF ELI AND SAMUEL.
A. A character flaw of two great men. 
1. 1 Samuel 2:22-25; 3:13
2. 1 Samuel 8:3-5
3. What were the consequences of their toleration of sin.
a. For Eli it meant that he would lose his children to the Philistines and cause him to lose his own life.
b. For Samuel it meant that the people would reject his leadership and demand a king.
B. Instead of tolerating the shortcomings of our children, we should seek to discipline them. 
1. Proverbs 22:15- "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
2. Proverbs 23:13- "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."

 
 

CONCLUSION: PARENTS FACE MANY CHALLENGES TODAY. I BELIEVE THAT MOST PARENTS ARE DOING A GOOD JOB. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! AS YOU SEEK TO DO THE GREAT JOB IN THE WORLD, REMEMBER THE PITFALL THAT WE HAVE DISCUSSED HERE AND SEEK TO DO THE VERY BEST JOB POSSIBLE. 
 
 

Copyright 1999 by Grady Scott may be reproducted for non-commercial purposes at no cost to others.


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